I grew up poor. We barely could afford the essentials. My dad got cancer when I was 3. It got really bad when I was 5. He passed away when I was 8. Shortly before he passed, I discovered Mind Over Matter. I knew there was something magical behind the scenes in life.
After my dad passed, my mom and I moved. Her son, who was 20 years older than I was, moved in with us. I was physically abused by him, an alcoholic and cocaine addict. He took pleasure in abusing me because he believed my mom loved me more.
I just wanted to escape. As a child I came up with three strategies:
-Sleep over at friend’s houses and stay away as much as possible.
-Fake sleep until my brother left on the weekends. (Although that wasn’t foolproof)
-Bury myself in video games to ignore what I was going through.
At the young age of 11, a new strategy came on my radar: suicide.
I remember the day I took the bus to the mall by myself. I went upstairs to the edge of the parking lot, looked down below, and seriously considered jumping. I remember thinking about how good it’d feel to get my brother back by taking my life. He wouldn’t have a punching bag anymore. He’d have to live with the regret of making a child take his own life. What saved me then is I didn’t believe he would have any remorse
As I got older, I was introduced to drugs. This gave me a new vehicle to escape with. It started with alcohol. Then it became pot. It escalated with a primo blunt, and degenerated into crack addiction.
Escapism has been a theme my entire life. I constantly buried myself in something - TV, video games, drugs, or the thoughts of burying myself with suicide.
Exactly one year ago today, my entire foundation blew up in my face all at once. I lost my job. My rabbit died. My fiance moved out with no notice. I was in massive debt. I had no family. No friends. No money. No car. And soon, no where to live. I had nothing. I didn’t even have a bed to sleep on.
I had two choices:
-give up, give into depression, go homeless, and kill myself…
-Or rise up, focus on what I want, who I want to be, and take steps to get it.
I chose option B.
It took everything I had, and everything I learned about Mind Over Matter and Hypnosis to pull through.
1 year later, I now have:
-the best career I have ever had: it’s fulfilling, pays the bills, and gives me time to work on myself
-the best girlfriend I have ever had: she’s supportive, considerate, driven, and will make an awesome mom.
-the best social circle I have ever had: people who are aligned with my values, and lift each other up
-the best relationship with myself I have ever had: I am the parent that I never had, and always needed for myself, together we can accomplish anything.
This entire time I just wanted a life I didn’t have to escape from.
Now I am a person who is strong enough that I can face the conflicts of life head on.
And I am sustained by a mission that reinvigorates me every day.
I don’t have to run.
I don’t need to hide.
I hope that what I share can help you on your journey.
I’m glad to have met Trevor, and am honored to be part of his mission to end suicide.
Thanks for reading a long.
I’m rooting for you.
<3
Francis
